Reflection on my journey into recovery

"I wanted to do this film", says Brian, "to try to help others as I progress through my recovery. It was hard to do as I still feel embarrassed about my past, I'm so glad that I'm not like I used to be anymore! Even watching the film back for the first time today was a little strange, it only seems like 5 minutes ago that I was still using heroin".

I hope you enjoy "Reflection on my journey into recovery". Please leave any comments or questions you might have.

What Recovery Means To Me

Brian has really grabbed his recovery with both hands! It's been a pleasure to get to know him and follow his path into recovery. Here Brian talks about his recovery in our series - 

 ‘What Recovery Means To Me’.

My personal story

A couple of weeks ago I met up with Lucie and Kev to discuss what would go on my pages on the Wired In Our Community blogs. I was asked to think about five words that would best describe me. I went home and thought about it, but I just couldn’t think of the right words. I grabbed a pen and paper to write down some thoughts and the next thing I knew I had written my personal story!

Lucie’s face when she next came to see me was a picture! She couldn’t believe that first off I had done my story (without even being asked!) and secondly she said that she was blown away by the ‘heartbreakingly honest account of my life’.

I’m sharing my story with you as I want to help people understand

·      some of the reasons behind why a person may turn to drugs

·      the depths that addiction can take you to

·      how some treatment experiences can be harmful

·      and that recovery is possible

I hope that you find my story helpful in understanding addiction and recovery. My life has completely turned around in the past 9 months and I want to use my experiences to help others with drug or alcohol problems.

 

 To finish off – I finally found the 5 words that best describe me…

 “Positively pessimistic and hopefully optimistic”

My experiences on film...

Last summer I was in Swansea Drugs Project when the Wired In guys came along to film service users for the day, I was sat out the back having a roll-up, and I got chatting to Kevin about addiction, treatment and recovery. At that point I didn't really know anything about Wired In but when they asked if they could film me, I agreed because I feel it's important that addicts and  ex-addicts are given the chance to talk about their experiences as they could really help others in similar circumstances.

The film has been cut into bite-size pieces and will be launched every Monday on the Wired In Recovery Channel on You Tube.

 This is the introduction to "Life as a heroin addict"

introducing myself

I first tried heroin in prison. I found it really helped me to deal with the monotony of prison. After being released I didn’t use heroin again for years. Then my circumstances took a turn for the worse, and I started to use heroin again, soon developing an addiction. After experiencing the devastation that addiction wracked on my life, I made several attempts to address my substance use problems. However, nothing seemed to work for me, and I was getting deeper and deeper into the cycle of addiction, homelessness and crime.

In 2007, I was fortunate enough to get a space on the Bridge Project, a residential rehab run by the Salvation Army in Cardiff. Since being on the Bridge Project my life has changed dramatically. I have had the opportunity to address my addiction and other life problems, whilst living in a stable and supportive environment. The Bridge Project staff have been fantastic and I have had endless help and support from them.

I no longer use heroin and have been on a methadone prescription since January 2008. My plan is to slowly reduce my methadone until I am living drug free. Since stopping using heroin things have not been easy, and I have had many battles to fight. But with the support I have around me I am getting through.

My experiences with addiction and recovery have prompted me to pursue future employment in the substance misuse field, although I would like to go to bible college for training before that, and eventually look for a job that enables me to work in this field with a Christian point of view. I want to be able to share my experiences with others and help people address their alcohol and drug use in a productive environment. Personally, I believe that positive mental attitude is vital in overcoming addiction, and this is something that I want others to learn about and achieve.

I first met Wired In during the summer of 2007. I shared with them my views and experiences about addiction, treatment and recovery on film. At the time I was still using heroin, and now, looking back on the footage I can see how far I have come. I have put on weight, am looking much healthier and I now have a positive outlook on life. I got involved in the film project because I wanted others to learn about the real life side of addiction. Recently I am also writing my personal story so that others can see that there is hope in finding recovery.

Favourite quote - "Just Believe and you can achieve"